I’m a mom who loves me some wine. I recognize myself in every “Wine Makes Me a Better Mommy” and “Watch Me Sip My Chardon-Nae-Nae” meme, and there’s a practical reason why: Drinking wine is the one easy thing moms can do just for themselves.
At the same time, it sucks that as a grown woman with a kid, you drink a glass of wine and are immediately accused of indulging in some much-needed “mommy time.” The growing “Moms In Need of Wine” social media phenomenon, as described by Jezebel’s Kathryn Jezer-Morton, is stupid and shackles every aspect of a woman’s life to her identity as a mother.
Look. As a mother of a little girl, I am happily obsessed with every aspect of her daily routine – something Jezer-Morton put like this (and which made me do a Pinot Noir spit take):
“I contain within me an overheating server farm of granular data about my children.”
Every part of my day is spent caring for and worrying about someone else. Is she going to keep that sweater on while she’s playing outside on the playground? Is she drinking enough water? Did we get the homework done? Eat your peas!
My thirst for wine peaked when my daughter hit about 2 years old, the time when babies need the most attention and care. They’re mobile and trying to kill themselves at every moment. It can’t be a coincidence that at the end of those long days, all I cared about was calming my frayed nerves by sitting down with a glass of wine.
And while I don’t lift the glass with the same gusto as I did a few years ago, I still really enjoy my few grown-up Disney-free moments with my fingers wrapped around a stemmed glass.
Most mothers don’t have the money for regular spa days or a team of nannies. Most don’t have the energy for hardcore personal training sessions. No, after a long day, once I get everyone tucked in for the night, I just have a few fleeting moments to be something besides “Mommy.” I get to watch TV with curse words and drink my wine.
Wine also acts a fab social lubricant when groups of moms get together to decompress. Those moments of bonding for women and mothers are a crucial way for us to share information and remind ourselves everyone is struggling with similar stresses and strains. After a week of watching Dora and making school drop-offs and shopping for shin guards, that camaraderie is everything – and something we shouldn’t have to be ashamed of needing and seeking out.
So, let’s not offer apologies for belonging to the “Wine Mommy” club. Let’s keep on posting wine selfies and sharing wino memes and cheering one another on.
Because there’s nothing wrong with a couple of drinks at the end of a long day.
Because this motherhood gig is hard.
And if a few glasses of wine help you unwind and reclaim a little bit of yourself before you were more than just the “Dishwasher-in-Chief,” then, it does actually make you a better mother.
(Photo: Getty Images)