Gwyneth Paltrow’s $200 Magical Moon Dust Made Me Smarter, But Not Better Looking

Some of my friends love to hate Gwyneth Paltrow. I personally admire Gwyneth, but I get that when she says, "I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-a-Soup" people get annoyed, but I have similar standards so I find her both authentic and funny. I have all of her cookbooks and follow her advice on lifestyle, exercise, and food. But even I raised an eyebrow recently when she raved about a pricey $200 smoothie recipe declaring it’s essential ingredient, Moon Juice, "magic. Like, real magic." 

So I had to test the powers of this magical ingredient myself. Moon Juice, as described by the founder is, "a healing force, an etheric potion, a cosmic beacon for those seeking out beauty, wellness, and longevity." Gwennie suggests "using Action Dust to soothe overworked muscles, Beauty Dust for a glow-y complexion and healthy hair, Brain Dust to combat mental fogginess, Goodnight Dust when sleep has been evasive, Sex Dust, for, you know, and Spirit Dust to get that extrasensory perception going." 

I found the perfect reason to use every dust. Here’s what happened.

Brain Dust

I’m most productive in the mornings and my brain literally does not function in the evenings so I chose Brain Dust when I was faced with a last minute script writing assignment for work. For the smoothie I blended:

  • 1 frozen banana
  • 1 cup of homemade almond milk
  • a heaping teaspoon of unsweetened cocoa powder
  • a teaspoon of Brain Dust

The smoothie was delicious and I set out to write my script. The minute I started writing I found my flow and finished within the hour. My work was good, I bragged to my husband, and totally forgot about the Brain Dust. My husband praised me for actually doing work at night and that’s when it hit me — the Brain Dust totally worked. I’ve since used it two other times with similar effects.

Beauty Dust

Ready for some Beauty Dust to fixed this tired face! 

I was feeling like crap, convinced I looked hideous, and did not feel like showing my face to the world. I had a few breakouts, I was feeling chunky, and it was just one of those days that I did not feel like going to work. On my way out of the house, I remembered I had Beauty Dust. 

I quickly whipped up a cocoa banana smoothie adding a teaspoon of Beauty dust and drank it in the car. An hour later I checked the mirror to find a face full of blemishes and an overworked look. I looked forward to my magical transformation all day but it never happened. It didn’t work. To be fair, maybe Beauty dust kicks in after repetitive usage?

Goodnight Dust

I had been having trouble sleeping, waking up no less than 4 times a night to use the bathroom (it was all mental) so I grabbed Goodnight Dust. I was pressed for time so I skipped the smoothie and instead poured a glass of homemade almond milk and added a teaspoon of the dust. This time I gagged. The dust didn’t blend and it tasted tangy and pungent. To make matters worse I had the worst sleep yet and it did not work. Perhaps my haphazard concoction was to blame?

Action Dust

When I left the house the next morning I thought I was going on a leisurely walk, but my husband tricked me into going on a hard core hike. I burned 800 calories hiking to the top of a mountain and when I got home I was aching all over. I took the opportunity to guilt my husband into making an Apple Action Dust smoothie that would hopefully soothe my sore muscles. He blended:

  • a cup of Coconut Milk
  • 1 apple
  • 1 tablespoon of Almond Butter
  • 1 Teaspoon of Cinnamon
  • drip of honey
  • a few ice cubes

The smoothie was delicious and I promptly passed out on the couch. I woke up feeling much better. 

Sex Dust

I hadn’t had down time in a while so on date night with my husband I got dressed up and sucked down a cup of homemade almond milk with a teaspoon of Sex Dust. We had a great dinner, lively conversation (which can be difficult after spending 24/7 with someone), and ended the night with some "romance."

Spirit Dust

I was confused on how I should use Spirit Dust so I chose Sunday when I was feeling meditative and ready to recharge my soul to get through the next week. I blended:

  • 1 cup of homemade Almond Milk
  • 1 cup of Frozen Blueberries
  • 1 cup of Frozen Pineapple
  • drip of honey

I took my smoothie outside to enjoy the beautiful weather and to meditate. My mind was clear until my husband started texting me. Then when I got him to stop texting, I started receiving Facebook messages. And after that I got lost on Snapchat until I realized I spent my whole meditative hour on my darn phone. Wasn’t the Spirit Dust suppose to put me into a meditative trance?

After a week of dusting I can say that yes, the Brain Dust, is "magical." I’m not sure how well the other dusts worked but then again the Beauty Dust, for example, probably works best when taken daily for a longer period of time. In a world where we want immediate results and are ready to jump on the medication train, it’s easy to dismiss Moon Juice Dusts as a joke. But I believe in trying alternative treatments, believe in this brand’s sincerity, and will continue to add it to my smoothies.

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