This Is What Really Happens To Your Body When You Get Drunk On St. Patty’s Day
First, the alcohol leaves the glass (or straw, if you really wanna get St. Paddy’s Day going), travels down the esophagus, and goes into the stomach, where it gets absorbed into whatever it is you just ate.
If you didn’t eat anything yet, you’ll probably get drunk a lot faster because there’s nothing separating the beer from the stomach lining.
The alcohol then travels to the intestines, which circulate it throughout the body through the blood stream.
At this point, your body will want to get rid of the alcohol (it is technically poison after all). This is why you pee a lot when you drink. It’s also why getting drunk is sometimes affectionately called getting “pissed.”
Another way for alcohol to leave the body is through your breath. This is why breathalyzers work.
The main way your body breaks down alcohol is through the liver. It takes about an hour for the liver to process a single drink. So if you’re drinking more than one beer an hour, you’re gonna get drunk much faster.
The party really starts when the alcohol reaches the brain. It starts in the front of the brain, affecting the cerebral cortex which controls your behavior.
The alcohol is then passed to the hippocampus, where it will begin exaggerating your emotions. If you’re happy, you’ll be super happy! If you’re sad…well, maybe stay away from the jukebox, because you’re gonna wanna listen to that one the Fray song over and over.
Luckily, the hippocampus is also in charge of your memory, so if you do anything weird at this point, you’re not going to remember it. Leave that burden to your friends, whose patience will be tested tonight.
When the alcohol reaches the cerebellum, you’ll start to lose your sense of balance. Lying down is gonna seem like the best thing on the planet right now.
You’ve had your fun, but before you drink any more alcohol, you’re gonna want to drink some water first. If the alcohol reaches the medulla, it could affect your basic functions, such as breathing. You WILL need medical attention.