Trump on Hairspray: ‘It Used to Be Real Good’

“My hair look OK?” Trump asked a crowd in West Virginia. (AP)

Donald Trump gave a surreal monologue about hairspray to an unlikely audience over the weekend — coal miners in Charleston, W.Va., where he announced an endorsement by the West Virginia Coal Association. Then he tried on a shiny white safety helmet and gave a double thumbs-up along with a lips-pursed “tough guy” face, while pantomiming a shoveling motion. But it was after he removed the hat that the Donald began waxing poetic about his favorite (or formerly favorite) beauty product.

“My hair look OK?” he asked the guys. “I got a little spray. Give me a little spray,” he said, taking on an oddly exaggerated manner, which included, to the careful listener, the pronunciation of spray as the lisped thpray.  

“I got a little ‘thpray.’” (AP)

Then came the environmentalism-is-whack connection: “You know you’re not allowed to used hairspray anymore because it affects the ozone,” Trump said. “You know that, don’t you? … Because you know hairspray’s no good anymore. It used to be real good,” he lamented, running his fingers up through his puffy bangs and then, struck by a thought, doing it again.

“It really is mine, right?” (AP)

“And by the way, look, it really is mine, right? Look. Right? Give me a mirror!” He seemed lost in his preening for a moment, but quickly got back on point. “But in the old days, you put the hairspray on and it was good. Today, you put the hairspray on and it’s good for 12 minutes. I said, ‘Wait a minute. So if I take hairspray and if I spray it in my apartment, which is all sealed, you’re telling me that it affects the ozone layer?’” he asked. “‘Yes.’ I say, ‘No way, folks. No way.’”

And there — despite science — you have it, folks.

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